Wednesday, August 17, 2011

My Try on Waka


To a minister,
August is a blister;
To a student,
September is important,
Try NOT to be dependent!

*****

Choka, a poetry form for The Purple Treehouse: 5-7-5-7-7

Short Story Slam Week 8:


21 comments:

  1. Choka is new to me. I like your rhyming.

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  2. wow it's also new to me... and the poetry is so critical...:)

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  3. Nicely done. I like the scheme.

    Here is my week 8 story: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/08/18/amber-waves-of-grain/

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  4. Good first attempt. The rhyming was a very creative addition. The syllable count in a tanka is 5-5-5-7-7. In the second line the syllable count was 6. Just a small mistake.
    But i enjoyed your poem. :)

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  5. Oh, how clever. I may have to try one : )

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  6. Very interesting! Thanks for enlightening me!

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  7. This made me smile ... and think of my grandchildren. Lovely.

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  8. These short forms are kind of fun. More difficult than one might imagine.

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  9. I'm not sure if the short ones are easier or harder! Good job!
    http://www.benjity.wordpress.com

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  10. Fascinating take. Thank you! :)

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  11. Interesting and clever take on the prompt ... and a different yet fascinating poetry form ...

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  12. Very interesting! I like it! Especailly how August is a blister makes me think about lots of things.
    Blessings

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  13. After reading yours, I'm not sure that I did mine right. I enjoyed yours though! :)

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  14. I have to admit, Choka is an unfamiliar form to me, as well.... I often stray into the all too comfortable Iambic pentameter or tetrameter... but, I'm willing to experiment :-)

    wonderful piece, by the way! Short, sweet and mesmerizing :-)

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  15. Love this,although it is unfamiliar territory for me :)

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  16. You have brought the pieces together well.

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