Wednesday, August 17, 2011

My Try on Waka


To a minister,
August is a blister;
To a student,
September is important,
Try NOT to be dependent!

*****

Choka, a poetry form for The Purple Treehouse: 5-7-5-7-7
http://purpletreehouse.blogspot.com/2011/08/poetic-forms-waka.html

Short Story Slam Week 8:
http://bluebellbooks.blogspot.com/2011/08/short-story-slam-week-8.html


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21 comments:

  1. Strummed WordsAugust 17, 2011 at 8:45 PM

    Choka is new to me. I like your rhyming.

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  2. NeniAugust 18, 2011 at 8:49 AM

    wow it's also new to me... and the poetry is so critical...:)

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  3. Marbles in My PocketAugust 18, 2011 at 9:00 AM

    Nicely done. I like the scheme.

    Here is my week 8 story: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/08/18/amber-waves-of-grain/

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  4. West LakeAugust 18, 2011 at 9:02 AM

    good start.

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  5. madhumakhiAugust 18, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    Good first attempt. The rhyming was a very creative addition. The syllable count in a tanka is 5-5-5-7-7. In the second line the syllable count was 6. Just a small mistake.
    But i enjoyed your poem. :)

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  6. MaggieAugust 18, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    Oh, how clever. I may have to try one : )

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  7. AnonymousAugust 18, 2011 at 10:01 PM

    I didn't get it.But you seem to have done well.

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  8. AnonymousAugust 18, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    Good job,I didn't get it.However I tried.

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  9. AnonymousAugust 19, 2011 at 1:25 AM

    Good start ... keep going!!

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  10. poetryroadAugust 19, 2011 at 7:45 AM

    Very interesting! Thanks for enlightening me!

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  11. Liz Rice-SosneAugust 19, 2011 at 9:43 AM

    This made me smile ... and think of my grandchildren. Lovely.

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  12. Mike PatrickAugust 19, 2011 at 3:14 PM

    These short forms are kind of fun. More difficult than one might imagine.

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  13. AnonymousAugust 19, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    I'm not sure if the short ones are easier or harder! Good job!
    http://www.benjity.wordpress.com

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  14. KayAugust 20, 2011 at 12:01 AM

    Fascinating take. Thank you! :)

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  15. MISHAugust 20, 2011 at 9:14 AM

    Interesting and clever take on the prompt ... and a different yet fascinating poetry form ...

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  16. Bethe77August 20, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    Very interesting! I like it! Especailly how August is a blister makes me think about lots of things.
    Blessings

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  17. AnonymousAugust 20, 2011 at 2:57 PM

    Love the short form.

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  18. Teresa MarieAugust 22, 2011 at 7:52 AM

    After reading yours, I'm not sure that I did mine right. I enjoyed yours though! :)

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  19. e.a.s. demersAugust 23, 2011 at 2:52 PM

    I have to admit, Choka is an unfamiliar form to me, as well.... I often stray into the all too comfortable Iambic pentameter or tetrameter... but, I'm willing to experiment :-)

    wonderful piece, by the way! Short, sweet and mesmerizing :-)

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  20. jayAugust 25, 2011 at 5:33 AM

    Love this,although it is unfamiliar territory for me :)

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  21. Liz Rice-SosneAugust 26, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    You have brought the pieces together well.

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