Friday, April 13, 2012

This Is The Life I Wanted (Sunday Prompts)

 
This is the life I wanted,
and I could never see:
Detach sour grapes
and disapprove their petulant rebellions,
Unlatch scars
before dubious resentment ruins,
Let metallic billows of darts fuse,
Lessons learned,
Surge in a jolt
with cash in a box brought,
Enjoy staccato of rain,
Let war of bullets exile in your brain.


77 comments:

  1. The petulant rebellions of sour grapes is clever. Incessant rain heads your poem beautifully. If we stop and attend to the small things, they can appear miraculous.

    I like the last line.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Detach sour grapes
    and disapprove their petulant rebellions"

    Yes. Good advice to all. Very hard though - I'm glad you include "enjoy" in the poem.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a lovely blending of the prompts. I read this several times getting something new every time. I love the phrases petulant rebellions and dubious resentments.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The life I want is probably the one I have now, although I try to convince myself otherwise--as do many of us.

    Whirling Haiku and Senryu

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like the image of incessant rain. I hope the last line means what I interpret it to mean: that wars will cease. Your verse sings!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very interesting. Am happy I stopped by.
    Peace,
    Siggi in Downeast Maine

    ReplyDelete
  7. A poem of escape to freedom...wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  8. interesting piece about forgetting and acceptance. Thanks for the visit and happy gooseberry day! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. 'War of bullets exiled' seems so nice!

    ReplyDelete
  10. All that has been is this aarchitect of what is. The next step is our only choice.
    Wonderful write!

    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/02/05/will-we-soon-forget-2/

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hypnotic for me..the words, the rain..I could sit and watch "the life" all day. Excellent!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. very nice poem.
    so much said
    in only so many lines.
    well done.

    ReplyDelete
  13. bravo,

    powerful sentiments, masterful delivery.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think this is a terrific piece. Really well done. : )

    ReplyDelete
  15. The falling rain adds a serene dynamic to your terse words and the tensions of war discussed in your poem. I loved the contrasts. Thank you for sharing, Taylor.

    ReplyDelete
  16. nicely wrought poem incorporating several prompts without a forced feeling;love the rain falling continually in the photo - it lends incredible power to the words ...

    ReplyDelete
  17. A wonderful way to turn things around.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is a lovely poem with very original formulations. K.

    ReplyDelete
  19. beautiful composition with multiple prompts combined.

    I know it is hard to feel like you don't care at all, it is hard to please all...at times, a cut is needed to maintain order and obtain position needed to show one's standing.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Your use of words is masterful, I also liked the rhythm. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  21. i'm up for a rain staccato anytime...ok...when it's not too cold..smiles...nicely woven...

    ReplyDelete
  22. love the imagery of it,

    romantic and wet,
    way to go...

    ReplyDelete
  23. This is really vivid.
    I enjoyed the imagery that you depicted. Well written!
    -Erick F.

    ReplyDelete
  24. cool poem also loved the picture accompanying it thank you for sharing x

    ReplyDelete
  25. detach sour grapes. good advice. :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Love the idea of detaching sour grapes and exiling bullets :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. C'est la Vie!
    Great job Taylor Boomer
    Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

    ReplyDelete
  28. Taylor, such density of images (and prompts). I have to agree with what others have said, the sour grapes and petulant rebellions line is wonderful.

    Richard

    ReplyDelete
  29. What powerful metaphors you used! I like "disapprove their petulant rebellions" too :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. "unlatch scars" - I loved that.

    Yes, resentment can really ruin things.

    A powerful write.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thanks for coming by, hope to see you again!

    ReplyDelete
  32. This is excellently deep with some great lines.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Let war of bullets exile in your brain. is what arrested my attention.

    ReplyDelete
  34. 'Unlatch scars'- indeed! with ribbon edges not razor.
    I do question the wisdom of your last line- bullets 'exile IN ? your brain'- I think I want to let all
    negative thoughts and feelings go
    by & hold nothing like that!
    Thanks for visiting :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. Lovely imagery, hurt, pain, passion, and finally a little ray of hope.
    Beautifully penned

    ReplyDelete
  36. romantic background,

    love some spring/winter rain, smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  37. A wonderful piece of writing. Thanks so much for doing such justice to my Carry On Tuesday prompt this week.

    ReplyDelete
  38. So powerful, Taylor! I really like the last two lines!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Great pic to go with the words. Thanks for visiting me.

    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  40. a very cool poem - such a great idea

    ReplyDelete
  41. Imagery is everything and you express it well in your words.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Glad to get wet and feel the romantic senses here,

    keep it up,

    you are unbeatable, lady fairy.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Clever usage of the wordle list! Thanks for visiting ...Hopefully I will learn how to use the linking system soon. Blogging is still fairly new to me. I hope you also enjoy some of my other verse.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Some striking word pairings in this. Solid write. =)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Romantic mood,

    have a lovely time ....

    fantastic words.

    ReplyDelete
  46. There is so much I love about this poem. Think my favourite lines have to be: 'Unlatch scars
    before dubious resentment ruins'

    A really heartfelt, poignant yet accepting write

    ReplyDelete
  47. I am enjoying the read! It is amazing how many talented writers I meet here. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  48. This has so many wonderful layers! Loved it!

    ReplyDelete
  49. I like "the staccato of rain" - the perfect line!

    ReplyDelete
  50. "Let war of bullets exile in your brain." love it!

    ReplyDelete
  51. lovely words, as usual. :)

    loved the last two lines.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I have to agree with everyone else. The last two lines are especially powerful!

    ReplyDelete
  53. The rain was very enjoyable!Thanks for participating in ABC Wednesday!

    Wil, ABC Wednesday Team

    ReplyDelete
  54. Entertaining technique.


    ROG, ABC Wednesday team

    ReplyDelete
  55. Marvelous poem...

    It is really enchanting...

    Magnificent post for the letter "M"!

    Thanks for linking.

    A+

    ReplyDelete
  56. Vivid imagery and quite powerful. The rain made it even more so. Rain can signify pain, release of pain or feelings of refreshment. Made me think on quite a lot. Job well done. Be blessed.

    http://elizena-lovingmycreator.blogspot.com/2012/02/soul-song.html

    ReplyDelete
  57. Wow...A big agenda engraved into simple words...:)

    ReplyDelete
  58. Such few words and such a lot captured.. like water in a pond when it rains.. impressive !
    I am at ~ http://puplumages.wordpress.com/2012/04/17/misty-mood/

    ReplyDelete