Friday, April 13, 2012

This Is The Life I Wanted (Sunday Prompts)

 
This is the life I wanted,
and I could never see:
Detach sour grapes
and disapprove their petulant rebellions,
Unlatch scars
before dubious resentment ruins,
Let metallic billows of darts fuse,
Lessons learned,
Surge in a jolt
with cash in a box brought,
Enjoy staccato of rain,
Let war of bullets exile in your brain.


77 comments:

  1. The petulant rebellions of sour grapes is clever. Incessant rain heads your poem beautifully. If we stop and attend to the small things, they can appear miraculous.

    I like the last line.

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  2. "Detach sour grapes
    and disapprove their petulant rebellions"

    Yes. Good advice to all. Very hard though - I'm glad you include "enjoy" in the poem.

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  3. What a lovely blending of the prompts. I read this several times getting something new every time. I love the phrases petulant rebellions and dubious resentments.

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  4. The life I want is probably the one I have now, although I try to convince myself otherwise--as do many of us.

    Whirling Haiku and Senryu

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  5. I like the image of incessant rain. I hope the last line means what I interpret it to mean: that wars will cease. Your verse sings!

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  6. Very interesting. Am happy I stopped by.
    Peace,
    Siggi in Downeast Maine

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  7. A poem of escape to freedom...wonderful.

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  8. interesting piece about forgetting and acceptance. Thanks for the visit and happy gooseberry day! :)

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  9. 'War of bullets exiled' seems so nice!

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  10. All that has been is this aarchitect of what is. The next step is our only choice.
    Wonderful write!

    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/02/05/will-we-soon-forget-2/

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  11. Hypnotic for me..the words, the rain..I could sit and watch "the life" all day. Excellent!!

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  12. beautiful imagery and picture!!

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  13. very nice poem.
    so much said
    in only so many lines.
    well done.

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  14. bravo,

    powerful sentiments, masterful delivery.

    :)

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  15. I think this is a terrific piece. Really well done. : )

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  16. The falling rain adds a serene dynamic to your terse words and the tensions of war discussed in your poem. I loved the contrasts. Thank you for sharing, Taylor.

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  17. nicely wrought poem incorporating several prompts without a forced feeling;love the rain falling continually in the photo - it lends incredible power to the words ...

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  18. A wonderful way to turn things around.

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  19. This is a lovely poem with very original formulations. K.

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  20. beautiful composition with multiple prompts combined.

    I know it is hard to feel like you don't care at all, it is hard to please all...at times, a cut is needed to maintain order and obtain position needed to show one's standing.

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  21. Your use of words is masterful, I also liked the rhythm. Great job!

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  22. i'm up for a rain staccato anytime...ok...when it's not too cold..smiles...nicely woven...

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  23. love the imagery of it,

    romantic and wet,
    way to go...

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  24. This is really vivid.
    I enjoyed the imagery that you depicted. Well written!
    -Erick F.

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  25. cool poem also loved the picture accompanying it thank you for sharing x

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  26. detach sour grapes. good advice. :)

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  27. Love the idea of detaching sour grapes and exiling bullets :)

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  28. C'est la Vie!
    Great job Taylor Boomer
    Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

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  29. Taylor, such density of images (and prompts). I have to agree with what others have said, the sour grapes and petulant rebellions line is wonderful.

    Richard

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  30. What powerful metaphors you used! I like "disapprove their petulant rebellions" too :)

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  31. "unlatch scars" - I loved that.

    Yes, resentment can really ruin things.

    A powerful write.

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  32. Thanks for coming by, hope to see you again!

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  33. This is excellently deep with some great lines.

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  34. Let war of bullets exile in your brain. is what arrested my attention.

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  35. 'Unlatch scars'- indeed! with ribbon edges not razor.
    I do question the wisdom of your last line- bullets 'exile IN ? your brain'- I think I want to let all
    negative thoughts and feelings go
    by & hold nothing like that!
    Thanks for visiting :)

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  36. Lovely imagery, hurt, pain, passion, and finally a little ray of hope.
    Beautifully penned

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  37. An enthralling piece!

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  38. romantic background,

    love some spring/winter rain, smiles.

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  39. A wonderful piece of writing. Thanks so much for doing such justice to my Carry On Tuesday prompt this week.

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  40. So powerful, Taylor! I really like the last two lines!

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  41. Great pic to go with the words. Thanks for visiting me.

    Pamela

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  42. a very cool poem - such a great idea

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  43. Imagery is everything and you express it well in your words.

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  44. Glad to get wet and feel the romantic senses here,

    keep it up,

    you are unbeatable, lady fairy.

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  45. Clever usage of the wordle list! Thanks for visiting ...Hopefully I will learn how to use the linking system soon. Blogging is still fairly new to me. I hope you also enjoy some of my other verse.

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  46. Some striking word pairings in this. Solid write. =)

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  47. Romantic mood,

    have a lovely time ....

    fantastic words.

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  48. There is so much I love about this poem. Think my favourite lines have to be: 'Unlatch scars
    before dubious resentment ruins'

    A really heartfelt, poignant yet accepting write

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  49. I am enjoying the read! It is amazing how many talented writers I meet here. Great post!

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  50. This has so many wonderful layers! Loved it!

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  51. I like "the staccato of rain" - the perfect line!

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  52. "Let war of bullets exile in your brain." love it!

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  53. lovely words, as usual. :)

    loved the last two lines.

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  54. I have to agree with everyone else. The last two lines are especially powerful!

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  55. The rain was very enjoyable!Thanks for participating in ABC Wednesday!

    Wil, ABC Wednesday Team

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  56. Entertaining technique.


    ROG, ABC Wednesday team

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  57. Marvelous poem...

    It is really enchanting...

    Magnificent post for the letter "M"!

    Thanks for linking.

    A+

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  58. Vivid imagery and quite powerful. The rain made it even more so. Rain can signify pain, release of pain or feelings of refreshment. Made me think on quite a lot. Job well done. Be blessed.

    http://elizena-lovingmycreator.blogspot.com/2012/02/soul-song.html

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  59. Wow...A big agenda engraved into simple words...:)

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  60. Such few words and such a lot captured.. like water in a pond when it rains.. impressive !
    I am at ~ http://puplumages.wordpress.com/2012/04/17/misty-mood/

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  61. Nice rythmic play of words:)

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